Edinburgh intros #5: Meet the snappy sketch duo with a naval tale to tell, and a boat-load of daft props to help them
1. Tell us a bit about the show.
Well, it’s a naval tale about the unlikely friendship between a deeply depressed sea captain and a massive fish. Together they embark on a voyage to River Island (the place, not the shop) where they encounter a curious collection of weird and wonderful people, including two rapping crabs, Ronan KEATING the despotic prime minister, and The Potion of the Ocean who absolutely hates his job. If you’re looking for hard-hitting, gritty theatre or political stand-up it might not be ideal.
2. What’s your favourite bit?
Lucy: Entering as Barren Karen on a skateboard to her theme tune. I normally fall off the back of it because my dress is stuffed with pillows, I’m wearing two fake beards and I can’t see through my glasses. It’s usually quite entertaining for Letty.
Letty: Lucy falling off the skateboard.
3. Any props/visuals/silly hats? There MUST be.
Lucy: Well no. It’s a very serious piece.
Letty: Very good.
Lucy: There are skateboards, puppets, knives, condoms, fishing rods..
Letty: We’ve been trawling through three suitcases worth of crap around London for the past two months. My favourite items are the neon crab hats from Taiwan. Closely followed by Peter’s foot basket and maggotpops.
Lucy: The Olympic standard batons for the ribbon dance are quite good.
Letty: Shame our dancing is not.
4. If your show were a dog, what breed would it be?
Lucy: A hot dog. Or a Dalmatian who can’t find his bonio.
5. I’m curious about the name. I really want to believe that you made it one word just to make it look like “lettuce”. Is that what happened?
Letty: It was a typo. We were meant to be called Lettuce.
Lucy: Letty has just told a lie. Truth is it’s just our names (Letty & Lucy) shoved together. Our mums both independently came up with it & it sort of stuck. It is also a 90s boy band. However, I would like us to be lettuce eventually because I’d like us to have that as a logo.
Letty: What, just a massive lettuce?
6. What’s your walk-on music going to be?
Depends who we are coming on as. Peter the Hunchback has The Child Catcher music from Chitty Chitty Bang Bang because it’s twinkly and terrifying in equal measure, which matches his personality perfectly. Karen has Big Booty (a Bubba Sparxx mash up of Under the Sea from The Little Mermaid) because it’s simultaneously strange and surreal yet oddly familiar, just like her. Plus it just really cheers everyone up. The Crabs enter to 50 Cent.
7. Who will you be living with and how do you expect that to go?
Letty: Lucy. Badly. I’m extremely annoying.
Lucy: We are living with each other to start with. I normally imagine there is a ghost so Letty will have to check all the cupboards first. We are also living with a comedian called Ben Harris who we haven’t met yet. Hopefully he’s ok with ghosts.
Letty: Yes Lucy spent the entirety of last month hearing a strange noise and became convinced it was a ghost wondering the corridors rattling a teaspoon inside his teacup. When I finally witnessed the mystery noise, it transpired it was just our rather weak doorbell.
8. What will your Edinburgh daily routine be?
Letty: I usually wake up parched at noon.
Lucy: That was a posh sentence.
Letty: Then coffee. Shower. Try not to be sick on a banana. Flyering.
Lucy: I’ll probably buy a crepe from C venues before the flying starts.
Letty: She means flyering.
Lucy: Yes I do mean that. We will do the show and then sprint to watch 15 other shows, drink 3 pints and eat some crisps. I’ll be convinced Clive Anderson is called Clive James and then go home.
Letty: We’re going to try and apply a general rule for the month which involves avoiding espresso martinis. Last year Lucy had four in one night and it culminated in her interviewing the cooker at 5am.
Lucy: With a hand puppet called Steven.
Letty: By “hand puppet” do you mean plastic bag?
9. Do you enjoy the Fringe?
Lucy: Only if people come and watch us and don’t tweet “hashtag shite”.
Letty: Although that has turned out to be our favourite tweet of all time.
10. Which sketchers did you grow up watching? If indeed you did …
Lucy: Harry Enfield, French and Saunders.
Letty: The Fast Show, Smack the Pony.
Lucy: Russ Abbott.
Lucy: Happy Families, the adaptations of the kids books like “Mrs Wobble the Waitress”.
Lucy: I can’t be the only one.
• LetLuce in Sea Men (A Naval Tale) is at Just the Tonic at the Caves, at 4pm, they’re on Twitter at @LetLuceUK