Rhys James: ‘It’s time I got some god damn respect’

Edinburgh intros #4: He also said ‘If it ain’t got tweets in it, I ain’t eatsin’ it!’ Read on at your own risk

Rhys James comedian1. Tell us a bit about the show.
The show is on at 4:45pm every day in Edinburgh, Scotland, during the fringe festival, for an hour, starring me, Rhys James, who reckons it’s about time he (I) got some god damn respect.

2. What’s your favourite bit?
‘Thank you, Goodnight’. Which is a weird thing to open with, I know. I’m using a projector for the first time in a show which I’m enjoying doing. It’s for a bit about ‘final tweets’ replacing ‘last words’. #Modern.

3. If your show were a dog, what breed would it be?
Have you lost your mind? Whatever breed “CatDog” is.

4. What’s your walk-on music going to be?
The intro video to my show includes the song Sixteen Tonnes by Tennessee Ernie Ford. A song about miners, introduced to me by my late grandfather – an ex-miner. I use it in a video suggesting it’s as hard to being a young comedian as it was to be a miner. I’m sure he’d be so proud.

5. BIG fan of the Twitter feed and blog. How long do you spend online per day?
I don’t know the exact amount of time, but I live my life by this philosophy: “If it ain’t got tweets in it, I ain’t eatsin’ it!”

6. I’m going to ask you to brag now. What’s been your most retweeted tweet, and which is the tweet you’re most proud of?
My most retweeted tweet is:

The tweet I’m proudest of is this two-parter:

7. Who will you be living with and how do you expect that to go?
Adam Hess, who I live with in London, and Mark Smith, who lives on the same road as us in London. I expect it to go as well as it normally does, which is quite awfully. Adam eats spaghetti bolognese for breakfast, and Mark often asks “are you talking to me?” at the end of a 5-minute anecdote.

8. What will your Edinburgh daily routine be?
Wake up. Choke down some Coco Pops. Seventeen trips to the toilet. Maybe an apple? Walk to the show. Do the show. Finish the show. Speak to distant friends of my parents in the Courtyard about my career and how brave I am. Think about ending it all. Walk home to drop off my laptop. Sit on my bed for a bit. Ignore a few texts asking where I am. Fall asleep with a box of noodles on my chest. Repeat.

9. Do you enjoy the Fringe?
Obviously! See above.

10. Still pursuing with the rap?
They are not raps they are poems. I am not a rapper, I am a poet. Poet poet poet. No raps. I am not a rap artist. I do poems. Poetry. I’m Keats. I’m Wordsworth. I’m Tupac (the poetry years). Not a rapper. I really don’t want people to think they’re raps. Did you mean to send this to Doc Brown? [No – Ed].

Rhys James: Remains, is at the Pleasance Courtyard at 4.45pm. Follow him on Twitter at @rhysjamesy

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