She’s a rubbery, salty, outrageous character comic; she’s a Nick Knowles fan; and she’s a card-carrying Weirdo – that’s right, it’s Beth Vyse!
Beth Vyse, as I live and breathe. How are you today?
Tired. I’m always tired and still in love with Nick Knowles but he won’t answer any of my calls.
Whereabouts in London are you AS WE SPEAK? Paint us a picture.
In Sassford, east London, lying on bed, my covers are maroon this evening and the lamp, which is a dark shade of orange, is beside me.
Since I was born. No, I jest (see I can’t stop). Properly writing and performing stuff which I wrote (or we wrote as a team, I started off with Anna Morris, in Morris and Vyse) about 5 years ago.
My style is my own but I suppose people call me weird, sassy, surreal, absurd, gross, sublime, made of rubber and salt (just seeing if you’re still with me) and ridiculous.
I am going to see Kate Bush play on 24th September and I am so excited I need to wee, and also I saw Amy Winehouse coked off her tits play at the ICA in 2008 to 200 people; that was pretty good too. (Do you see what I did there … gig/gig. Ha.) The worst is yet to come …
So so, brilliant, difficult, exciting, terrible; you know, the usual.
I drink a bottle of wine and watch Michael Barrymore clips with Eddie Pepitone whilst he’s speaking to Siri on his phone.
I’d like to be body painted in leopard skin while giving birth to a litter of children, as a pack of smoking wolves stop by to see.
It’s not worth it, start earlier, nepotism, and join The Weirdos.
Me Dad. Anything by Joe Orton. Les Dawson. Julie Walters. Tim and Eric. Karl Schultz. John Kearns. Maddy Carrick. Me Mum. Luke McQueen. Pat Cahill. Georgia Brown. Pauline Lord. Eddie Pepitone.
An Eye For An Eye by Nick Knowles (watch that video at your own peril – Ed).