He’s one of the best MCs about (a Chortle Best MC Award nominee, in fact), he ‘played’ Richard Whitely at the Edinburgh Festival Comedy Countdown, and he’d like to poo on George Osborne’s lawn – that’s right, it’s Dan Atkinson!
Where do you live?: Where do all comedians live? Crouch End of course. Well, we bottom feeders live in Crouch End. Then whenever one of us makes a bit of cash we swoop up the hill and get something with a natty view in Muswell Hill.
How long have you been gigging for?: I did my first gig eleven years ago, when I was seventeen. Arrogant little swine that I was. I used to be such a prick. And I haven’t changed all that much, to be fair.
What do you do?: Erm – comedy? I make a mean lasagne too. And like all of us I’m just existing, seeing out my days until the inescapable indifference of death swallows me.
Who makes you laugh?: Good slapstick. People being punched hard, people falling over, general injury. And most comedians make me laugh. As soon as I start naming names I won’t stop, and it’ll get boring. And if I limit it to just a few I’m bound to forget people then feel guilty for a week. There’s definitely not enough slapstick in stand-up though.
At which London venues do you usually appear?: Banana, Funny Side, Jongleurs, Brixton, Hampstead, Creek etc etc.
What is your favourite London venue?: The King’s Head [in Crouch End]. Yes it’s good for me because it’s at the end of the road, but it’s the kind of club that comedians like to play. That’s where generally you’ll get that perfect mix of a comic giving a proper performance, but being loose enough that it’s an original event.
What are you/should you be famous for? Nothing. And fame would be fucking awful, don’t you think? If I’m ever famous I hope that it’s for some kind of grand humanitarian gesture like killing George Osborne or at least shitting on his lawn.
What is your placing in the Top Million Comedians League?: I wasn’t aware that it was possible to take a subjective art form and make a league table out of it. What the fuck, is it who is funniest? How can that possibly work? I’ll opt out thanks very much and just get on with going out of an evening to try to make people laugh at stuff.
Which celebrity do you look like? I don’t really know. The guy in films who sits at the side of the road during a car chase and does a double take at his bottle of booze? Does he count?
Whose sex face would I like to see? Without a doubt George Osborne. I think it would be fierce and full of hatred for whoever he was boning. He would imagine it was an immigrant or a working class single mum and that he was solving society’s problems with his cock.
Audiences love it when I… gig fully clothed.
Audiences hate it when I… physically assault them then burn the gig to the ground. But you’ve got to get off stage somehow, innit!