Where do you live: Peckham Rye
How long have you been gigging for?: Seven years. God has it really been that long?
What do you do?: Have fun and hope it rubs off in the audience. The more fun I have the more fun they have the more fun they have the more fun I have.
Who makes you laugh?: The modern acts I like are Phil Nichol for his manic energy; Tony Law is not only funny on stage but he’s so funny, he almost made me crash the car while I was driving him home. Terry Alderton is sheer genius. I can’t even explain what it is that makes him so funny. Brian Damage and Krysstal never fail to make me laugh, even though I can recite their entire act. Ian Cognito is a legend – anyone who’s gigged with enough will have a great anecdote about him. Josie Long is not only hilarious, but she has an amazing charm when she’s on stage. There are a lot of arrogant comics out there and she’s such a breath of fresh air.
Otherwise, I’m a massive fan of Tony Hancock, to extent that I have a commissioned painting of him in my front room. Also Peter Cook, Andy Kaufman, Chris Rock, Frankie Howerd, Benny Hill, Buster Keaton, Peter Sellers, Bill Hicks, Dolemite, Cheech and Chong, Monty Python, Bonzo Dog Do Dah Band, Simon Pegg, League of Gentlemen.
At which London venues do you usually appear?: All of the Big Night Out venues where I compere most weeks, Funny Side of Covent Garden, Covent Garden Comedy Club and the Round Table, which is one of the best small clubs in London and sometimes you get line ups there that you would pay £20 to £30 to see.
What is your favourite London venue?: Pear Shaped. Self professed second worst comedy club in London. You’ll see a combination of the up and coming, deluded, talented, insane, pretentious, bitter and surreal to name a few. Brian and Vicky are heroes for keeping it going for so long. I’d say if you were a tourist that wanted to see an alternative side to London, you could do no better than start there.
What are you/should you be famous for?: I’m famous for nothing and I don’t really crave fame. I’ve been asked to audition for a few things on TV, but I usually turn them down. I don’t see how commenting briefly on some vacuous talking heads show is worth doing unless they pay decent cash.
If I was to do anything, it’d be the Friday Night Project or a social experiment like Jamie Oliver’s Ministry of Food. I have a book I’ve been writing for ages. I’d like to have that published, then I’ll be able to play the villain in the Hollywood blockbuster directed by Tony Scott.
What is your placing in the Top Million Comedians League?: I reckon I’m around 45,342. Which isn’t bad out of a million.
Which celebrity do you look like?: Apparently that guy in Lost who loads of women fancy and say is really sexy. So who am I to disagree?
Whose sex face would you least like to see?: Tricky question. It depends in what circumstances. I’d like to see some people’s sex face on a grainy video secretly filmed and illegally downloaded thereby having millions of people see it, so it ruins their career. However I wouldn’t want to see the same sex face leering over me and waking me up after some all day drinking session and not knowing how they got there.
Audiences love it when I… do something outrageous. Past performances have included stripping off down to my pants and lap dancing on a woman in the front row (on one occasion to an act’s mum), and challenging the entire crowd to a drinking contest and winning.
Audiences hate it when I… leave the pants on.
And here’s Mike doing his thing…